The Kahumoku Family: I Saw the Sign

Monday, May 10, 2010

I Saw the Sign

On a long drive home from Las Vegas a couple weeks ago Jake and Josh declared they needed to use the restroom. I rolled my eyes because we were entirely surrounded by desert and they knew it. Willie pulled over to the side of the road and let them out to do their business.

Josh hopped out quickly but Jake flatly refused. I asked what the problem was and he said, “That sign says we’re not allowed to.” Entirely puzzled, I turned around to see a ‘no parking’ sign.

Proud of his reading abilities and obedience, Jake very seriously exclaimed, “See, the sign says, ‘No, Peeing'!"

I couldn't help laughing out loud. It's certainly never dull around here...even on long road trips!

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Recent Quotable Quotes

"Randall and Mudder," Nathan was afraid at bedtime tonight. When I asked him why he was scared he told me if he says it, he'll be even more afraid. I convinced him to tell me so I'd know how to help him. Randall from Monsters Inc and Mother from Tangled. I can't blame him. They are pretty creepy!
"Raw Meat! Raw Meat!" chanted Peter at dinner tonight while watching the debate. The other boys were cheering for "Romney!"
(Peter) "Mom, I love you 100 pounds!"
Kissing on the cheeks of his little sister, Josh said with a smirk, "This is the first girl I've ever kissed!"
Peter was counting in an angry voice, "ONE! TWO! THREE!" I responded with, "Wow Peter, you are good at counting. What comes after three?" He thought for a moment and said, "Um, a spank on ma bum." (I was going for four but that works too.)
I was agreeing with Peter and said, "I am too!" He looked at me and said, "No, I two!"
Josh told me, "Mom, I know why Nathan likes watching Little Mermaid. He likes looking at the belly buttons." Looks like we have modesty issues.
Jacob informed me, "Girls don't like gamers...they like excersizers. Good thing I'm both." Jake has some really interesting ideas about love.
Willie asked me, "Do you even get hungry?" Puzzled, I answer, "Yes." "It's hard to believe you would be with all that in there." Probably something you shouldn't say to your very pregnant wife. I know I am huge, but I still get hungry.
Nathan informed me today, "Mom, did you know one time when you were cooking hot dogs, I ate a raw one?...It was kind of yummy." It took all I had not to throw up.
After dealing with Nathan's toe bleeding all day and the band-aid not staying on I finally told him, "I've had it! We're just going to cut this toe off." He looked right at me and said, "If you cut it off, it will still bleed. I have blood inside of me."
"But Mom, I'll push you in the basket." (Nathan trying to convince me to take him shopping even thought I'm not feeling well.)
(Nathan) "Mom, I see a potty train!" (Me) "Where?!" (Nathan) "Over there!" pointing to a trailer full of port-a-potties.
"None of your ear wax!" Jake retorted when Nathan asked him a personal question. (Bee's wax, buddy...)
(Josh) "Mom, my new friend at school goes to church!" (Me) "Good! What church does he go to?" (Josh) "He goes to the Church of ALMOST Jesus Christ."
(Jake talking to Josh on the first day of school) "I was worried about you and thinking about you all day today." (Josh) "Why?" (Jake) "I thought you were going to be bad at school and get sent to the principal's office." (Josh) "We didn't even have a principal in my class."
(From Jacob) "Today a girl at school told me my hair was spikey. I told her 'Yeah, it reminds me of my Uncle Scott's hair.' And I told her that he's gone now. She asked me if he was dead! I told her he was just on a mission." (We discussed that saying someone is "gone" is another way to say they've died.)
(Jake's prayer tonight...) "Please bless Nathan to be super duper nice to us and please help us to be super duper nice to Nathan..." After prayers Jake gave Nathan a little shove after being teased by Nathan. "Hey, what happened to being 'super duper nice'?" I asked him. Jacob told me, "Well it takes a while for Jesus to turn it on."
"Maybe you should wear a bib too." Nathan's comment to me after I spilled my spaghetti down the front of my shirt.
Nathan was wearing blue swimming goggles around the house tonight and proudly told me, "Look Mom, now no one can poke my eyes out with these!" I gave it a try and he was right.
"Nathan, what are you eating?" "Anything." "Nathan, what's in your mouth?" "Anything." "Nathan, WHAT are you eating?!" "I'm not eating ANYTHING."
"Because he doesn't have big ones like mom!" (Josh explaining to Jake why the baby couldn't stay home with Dad.)
Jacob poked himself in the eye and announced, "Ow! I poked my eye! But don't worry, I'm not blind...I still have my other eye."
(Joshua) "Camel's Soup...MMM,MMM Good!" (Not very tastey but funny.)
Jacob told me, "Mom, it's actually good if we sweat. That means our heart is working hard." "Oh, really?" "Yeah, but it's just not good to sweat on Sundays." "Oh, why?" "Because we're not supposed to work on Sundays."
"I'm going to sit right here...if you need me, Mom." (Nathan)
I explained to Josh that the flyer left on our windshield was an advertisement for house cleaners. "Wow...how do they know our house is messy?" he asked me in awe.
"Can I just have something not so wobly? Please?!" Jacob begging for something other than ramen for lunch.
I was driving with Nathan to the store and I told him I was sleepy. He quickly yelled, "Mom, wake up!"
Josh asked me to open the checkers game for him. After PLAYING BY HIMSELF for a bit he told me, "Mom, I won! The reds won this time!"
(Josh) "Mom, I saw a man with a fat tummy. Maybe he had a baby..." (Me) "I don't think so!" (Josh) "Oh, well, maybe he was just pumped with air."
(Josh) "Okay, you smarty jeans!"
(Josh) "Mom, what does a Shamu-rock look like?" (After I'd gotten after him several times to pick up the shamrock.)
(Nathan) "Mom, basketballs yucky?" (Me) "No, basketballs aren't yucky." (Nathan) "Oh...taste it." (Me) "Okay, yeah, basketsballs are yucky."
(Me) "I'm hungry." (Josh) "Nice to meet you, Hungry. I'm Joshua!" (They catch on way too fast...)
I am the only one in the family who likes cottage cheese. I was teasing Josh, trying to get him so take a bite and he said, "That doesn't taste good to boys!"
(Josh) "Mom, my wife will be beautiful like you."
(Jake) "Mom, tell me about when you fell in love. You know, when dad was on his mission and you fell in love." (Me) "I will tell you about when I fell in love but you need to know I DID NOT LOVE DAD WHEN HE WAS ON HIS MISSION!"
(Josh) "Ewww, Jake, your breath smells like...something Mom doesn't like." (This comment was made after just having the 'no more bathroom words' talk.)
(Jake) "Mom, what does 'get over it' mean?" (Me) "I'm not sure. What do you mean?" (Jake) "Well that's what Olivia said when I asked her TWO times if I could have her Star Wars book. She's always saying weird things and I don't understand her."
(Jake) "Let's build a ship." (Josh) "Yes, one that's stylish and comfortable."
(Jake) "Josh, tell me about the doctor today." (Josh) "Well, he hammered my legs and my arms so I'll grow bigger..."
(Josh) "Mom, what did Ernie call the doctor?" "Doc." "Oh, like doc com?" (...dot com!)
"Jake, come check out my Picasso!" (Josh showing off his Play Dough creation.)
Jake wanted to talk and asked me, "Mom, can we have a little speak?"
(Jake) "Mom, Josh isn't helping clean up!" (Josh) "Because I'm FOCUSING on what I'm going to do!"
"You're crushing my skeletal system!" (Jake while wrestling with Willie.)
"I am a child of God, and so my KNEES are great!" (Jake's version of the second verse.)
Josh's shirt was looking a little snug, so I asked him if he had on Nathan's shirt. Nathan got a confused look on his face, patted his chest, and said, "Shirt!" (He gave me a look like I was an idiot.)
Josh informed me, "Mom, I know how to spell DVD! D...V...D!" (Sheer genious.)
"Please, let me do whatever I want. I'm free! I have freedom!!" Maybe teaching Jacob about Independence Day this week wasn't a good idea...
Jake asked me, "Mom, am I the coolest five-year-old boy in the world?" (And I'm sure you know my completely honest answer.)
Josh was singing a made-up song to himself, "E, I, A, a wonderful day."
"I'm actually a big boy now," Jake informed me while trying out his Heelys.
"...for which it stands, one DALMATION, under God..." (Josh's version of the pledge.)
I asked Jacob who the president on the penny was and he said, "President Blinkin!"
While we were in the seafood section at the grocery store Josh announced, "I smell wet lobster!"
"I didn't want mine fried!" (Jake's reply about his grilled cheese sandwich.)
Will asked the boys, "How do you like the backyard?" Josh answered, "It's good, but I think we should build a pergola."
"Mom, this is how you say Pantophobia in sign language," Jake told me while waving his hand around all crazy.
"I just ate some wind!" (Josh swinging with his mouth open.)
"You were very powerful. You're going straight to Vegas!" (They were playing 'Dancing Show')
(Jake) "Josh, I'm sorry I was mean to you today and that I made you upset and made you cry. Do you forgive me?" (Josh) "Yeah." (Jake) "Are you sorry that you were mean to me too?" (Josh) "Yeah." (Jake) "I forgive you."
Nathan drooled on Josh and Josh responded with, "Agh! Now I have Nathan water on me!"
"Please let this be a dream." (Jake's response when I couldn't find my keys while picking him up from preschool.)
"Mom, watch this! This will be Bravo!" (Jake wanted me to watch him jump over the gate at the bottom of the stairs. It was rather impressive.)
"Zebra...Zoo...Zuckerman's Famous Pig..." (Jacob's response when I asked him what words start with the letter "Z".)
"Please help me to not murmur at preschool today," (A little line from Jake's family prayer this morning)
I was calling for Jacob, "Jake the Snake! Will you please..." (interupted by Nathan) "Ssssss." (He heard me say snake!)
"Jake, I just skied!" After Josh slid on the tile in his socks.
"Tonight I'm going to dream about being four." (Josh)
"Mom, who do you think I look like today?" "I'm not sure...who do you look like today?" "He has an X-box..." "Oh, I think you look like Uncle Scott today." "Yes, he wears a black hat like this." (Jacob)

Milestones

Dec. 2 - Nathan counted to ten today.
Nov. 13 - Nathan almost gave me a heart attack when I noticed he had made it up the ladder of the swing set and was headed down the slide...ALL BY HIMSELF!
Sept. 20 - Nathan can get himself out of his highchair. He lifts the handle on the side, chucks the tray to the ground, and hops on out.
June 25 - Nathan is cruising. He's a walking machine that loves to tease me by climbing on the stairs. He's good at going up, not so good at going down.
May 27 - Nate's first steps (and pickle)
May 25 - Nathan has hit the too-young-for-nursery but not-going-to-sit-still (or quietly) in-adult-classes stage.

Retired Quotable Quotes

(Jacob to Joshua) "Well I'm four, so that makes me older."
(While watching Dancing with the Stars on Oprah.) "Mom, that was a private one." "What do you mean?" "I could see her belly button." "Well, that was her dancing costume." "Oh...it was a costume of a belly button?" (Josh)
"Mo, mo, mo!" (Nathan wanting more food.)
Jacob was telling us a scripture story tonight and said "Honalia" (instead of Liahona). Joshua could not contain himself. He was almost crying he was laughing so hard and said, "Jake, you said 'Honalia' instead of Liahona!"
"You MURDERER!" Jake yelled at me when I accidentally rolled over his fingers in the chair.
(Overheard phone conversation, Jake talking to Willie) "I suppose you sound like the voice of my dad...I have 79 questions for you...(giggling) I have two questions, I'm just kidding!"
(Jake) "Mom, what's a keener?" (Mom) "I really don't know." (Josh) "A keener is when you're disastic." (I'm really glad we got that cleared up.)
Josh was horsing around and my friend told him, "You look like you're bent in half!" Jacob asked her, "Who's Bentin Half?"
"What are we going to do with this happy baby?!" (Josh)
"I am going to eat this particular bread twice as much." (Josh talking about his cinamon toast.)
"Mom, next time hide where we know you are." Both boys were sobbing when they couldn't find me in a game of hide-and-seek.
Josh asked what we were having for dinner and when I told him chicken nuggets he said, "I hope my body likes it this time!" (That's what he had for dinner the night he was sick.)
(Jake) "Seems like a pretty good team, huh." (Josh) "Ya, we're the best team forever!" Then they go to give each other a high-five and miss.
"Mom, do you want a red one because you're beautiful?" (Jacob)
"You bean feast!" (This was meant as an insult from Josh.)
I told Joshua, "I don't like when I see you jumping on the couch." He told me, "Then don't look."
Jacob asked me, "Mom, why are you vacuuming? Are our friends coming over?"
"I like Grandma Truman the best. She's MY grandma...Will you tell her that?" (Josh)
"Good ga-reef!" (Joshua for good grief.)
Josh kissed my nose and then said, "Kiss mine!"
"You like me, don't ya!" Josh said to a smiling grabbing Nathan.
"How 'bout you stand in front and close your eyes and I'll hide behind you?" The boys were hiding in the corner of the doctor's office not wanting to witness Nate's vacination shots. At one point Jake was closing his eyes hiding behind Josh and Jake was covering Josh's eyes for him!
"Uh-uh." (Nathan's version of uh-oh!)
"Mom?" asked Josh, "Does Santa know how to get to our house?" "Yes!" "Oh, is it left or right?" Thoughtful pause..."Left."
"Slap my cat!" said Josh as he was pretending to be a Super Sleuth...I think he means "cap."
"Mom, will you turn it back to English?" Jake asked me after he and Josh laughed through a whole movie in French. Some how they changed the language and they were rolling with laughter!
Josh made the threat to Jacob, "I'm not going to be your brother any more!"
During the Christmas devotional when President Hinckley greeted everyone with, "Brothers and Sisters," Josh said, "We don't have any sisters here! We only have brothers!"
Josh was playing with a friend and pretending to be Nephi. I overheard this: Josh, "I'm going to go get the plates." Friend, "Okay, I'll come with you!" Josh, "No, I'll do it by myself. Nephi's brothers didn't help him."
We have been asked to pray for moisture to help the drought conditions in our area. Jake has remembered this and in almost every prayer he asks for "cold snow." Well, we got some snow this week and as the boys watched out the window in awe, I heard him softly say, "Thank you, Heavenly Father."
Joshua told me, "Mom, today's fast Sunday so we'd better get to church FAST!"
"I love your husband, too."
"Whoa, that's huge. You've got lots of numbers!" (Jake's supportive comment of my displayed weight on the scale.)
"Copporn! I mean, Popcorn!" (Josh said this with a giggle when he realized his mistake.)
Josh asked me, "Mom, are you going out of your mind?" (I must say this a little too often.) "Yes, I think I am." Jake piped up, "Please stay in your mind, Mom."
"Dadadadadada!" Let the babbling begin...Nathan is finding his voice in the family.
"When I grow up, I want to be a football player." (Jacob)
Today I was calling Nathan a stinky pie. (Don't ask me why...) Later Josh told me he thought Nathan really was a stinky cake. (At least he knew it was some kind of dessert item!)
"Mom, I have a GREAT idea!" "What is it, Josh?" "I can't tell you...it's a secret."
Jake was chanting, "Shower, shower, shower!" My mind was reeling trying to figure out what movie or book that was a line from. I could remember hearing it recently but I couldn't put my finger on it. When I asked Jacob what that was from he said, "One of the prophets said it in the microphone." Ah, a General Conference talk! I guess he really was listening.
"If you give me candy, I'll give you a kiss." (Jacob)
"Mom, can I give you a hug to see if it's still soft?" Jake was concerned with my new hairdo! After a big hug he said it was still good.
"Jacob, we're getting a new bishop today." I was trying to fill Jake in on what was going on at church. "Oh, good. Did the other one die?" (Uh, no.)
"When your boy calls Mama..." (Jake's using my own tricks on me!)
"But I like shoveling my nose." (Jake said this when I asked him to stop picking his nose. I think he's confused with when I've told him to stop digging in his nose...)
"You're a very lucky mom to have sons and a dad." Jacob is right. I am a lucky mom.
"Mom, I like birdies and babies." Josh randomly told me this as we were walking into the store today. Good to know though.
Jacob told me, "Mom, you are growing bigger and bigger like a grandma!" (I'm really hoping this is stemming from me telling him he's growing big like a dad.)
"Mom, I can't SNORP like a pig," Josh tells me while he trying to SNORT.
The boys came in to snuggle this moring while we were still in bed. They got to tickling me and when I told them to stop tickling me Jake said, "We aren't tickling you; we're tickling your pajamas!"
"A,B,C,D,F, and G..." This is how Josh sings his ABC's. For some reason he always leaves out the E!
I was carrying the groceries in and walked through the door just in time to catch the tail-end of a message being left on the machine. I asked the boys if someone had called and Jake said, "Yeah, it was Dad...your husband." Good thing he clarified that for me.
Jake was lounging on the couch and I asked him to put his shoes on. He told me, "Ugh, I can't get up right now...my legs are killin' me." Uh, excuse me?
"Mom, you're a good cooker," Josh told me while we were having lunch the other day. "A good cooker like the rats on Ratatouille." Thanks, thanks a lot.
"Just a joke..." Josh's reply when he gets in trouble for anything, as if it doesn't count because he's not serious.
"You're not supposed to catch it with your nose!" The motherly comment I made to Josh when I accidentally pegged him in the face with the football.
When Josh is doing something fast he says, "Quick as a lick!"
"Mom, what do you have in your big mouth?" Josh asked me this while I was trying to down a cinamon roll because I didn't want to share it.
"Yes, beautiful mother." This is the answer I get from Jake when I ask him to do something. (Most of the time.)
"Absolutely not." This is the answer I get from Josh when I ask him to do something. We're going to have to work on this!
Josh is into words. He likes the way things sound (alliteration or rhymes, etc). He especially loves silly words. His current favorite phrase is "What about a bean bag" (said quickly) and the words "stinkbomb" and "bobo."
Today Jake was patting my arm and said, "Mom, I'm playing you like an instrument." "What kind of instrument am I?" "A drum," and then both boys patted me like I was a bongo!

Craig's List Finds

FREE Bookshelf!!!
11/19 - $20 Two nightstands, finally!
11/16 - FREE Two bags of baby food!
11/2 - $30 Two boxes of baby toys including Drop & Roar Dinosaur, Playskool ball popper, Peek-a-Blocks Giraffe and Fish, and TONS more. Merry Christmas, Nathan!
9/20 - $8 PBK Surf light. Looks adorable in the nursery.
9/6 - $10 Exersaucer...so take that Mr. Rudeness!
9/5 - FREE two computer monitors and a two-drawer nightstand. It was one of those all-or-nothing deals. We only wanted one monitor but had to take the rest too!
9/5 - RUDENESS. There was a post for an excersaucer that said to make an offer. So I made an offer. After I sent my offer, here's the response I got. (I copied and pasted as not to exaggerate.) "Considering it's in perfect condition and brand new in the stores it's 79.00.....how bout no." RUDE!
8/29 - FREE friend. She posted that she wanted to join a play group and I responded. We finally got to meet today and had a great time.
8/27 - FREE hanging cassette organizer. Now not only will my out-of-date tapes that Willie hates be organized, they'll also be on display! (And you can't beat the price.)

The Kahumoku Family

Monday, May 10, 2010

I Saw the Sign

256 comments:

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